Friday, June 29, 2001

Testing 123
Break the Walls Down
Today marks the first day of my true liberation from education – for a couple of months at least. Yes, I have finally finished my dreaded exams and am now free to bum around for 3 months. Woohoo! After the exam yesterday the whole Politics class went into town for a few drinks and to top it all off our teacher came and met us as well. It really is a surreal experience to be bought drinks by your Politics teacher. It’s the sort of thing I can only ever imagine happening in a dream. Come on, how many of your teachers can you imagine going for a drink with?

Post-exam Rundown
OK, here I’m going to go through my exams and give you a quick evaluation. Feel free to skip this bit if you want:

General Studies: just ridiculously unfair. Admittedly it’s virtually all multiple choice but that doesn’t make things any easier believe me. “How many times bigger than the moon is the Sun?” – er, sorry I don’t have a PhD in Astro-physics. Hard but I guess I did as well as could be expected. I can use it to get into York so if I get an A or a B then I’ll be very pleased.

Psychology: before the exams I’d have said this was by far my strongest subject as I’ve always done well at it and find it interesting. However, the first exam was a real bastard of a paper and of the 4 essays I did, 3 of them were questions I’d really rather not have had. The second paper went much paper and I got a question on attachments in childhood which (almost) gave me an orgasm as that was the one question I really wanted. I’d done it before and got full marks in an exam so if I could repeat that… The other questions were alright so I think I’ve done okay in Psychology but I’m not sure if I’ll get that coveted A.

English Language: previously I’d have said this was my hardest subject but in the run-up to the exams I’d been getting consistent As in my essays so things were looking up. The first paper was relatively straight-forward but the second was a nightmare. The analysis featured 3 texts and two of them were spoken which complicated things and the recasting was very vague. After the exam nobody seemed to know exactly what we were supposed to do and it seemed everyone had done something different. However, after speaking to my teacher it sounds like I did the right thing so that was a relief. Again, I think I’ve done well but I’m not too sure about an A.

Politics: this is the subject I’m (hopefully) doing at degree so I really ought to do well in it. The first paper was pretty easy and although the stimulus question was on reform of the House of Lords (not my strongest area) that went okay. I got a peach of a question on the relationship between Prime Minister and Cabinet and overall paper 1 was pretty easy. Paper 2, traditionally, has presented students from our college with many more difficulties, mainly because the teacher only teaches us half the stuff on it. (D’oh) Anyway, I had to do 3 essays from a choice of 9 and there were only 2 I could do really well. My third one, which I kind of half knew and half bull-shitted, was about convergence in ideology of the Labour and Conservative parties since the 1980s. Scary stuff. However, I think I did quite well and overall Politics went much better than I expected it to. Again though I really can’t say how well I’ve done simply because it’s so hard to judge.

The Boundaries Commission
In terms of grade boundaries it varies from subject to subject and for an A you need 65% in General Studies, 69% for Psychology, 85% for English and about 60% for Politics. “Easy!” I hear you cry. Well in theory yes but the lower the boundary the harder the exam and the boundaries change from year to year depending on how well people do. However, because this is the last year of proper A-levels and in many subjects you can’t re-sit they reckon the boundaries might go down in a lot of subjects.

Work that Body
In terms of how much work I did for the exams I’ll sum it up nicely: shitloads for Psychology, lots for Politics and some for English. I didn’t do that much for English because it’s not a “factual” subject, it’s more of a creative-ability testing subject. And the reason I did more for Psychology than Politics was basically because I had a hell of a lot more to revise. I need ABB and hopefully I’ll get AAA. To be honest as long as I get into York I’ll be more than happy. The results come out in 7 weeks (August 16th – my Mum’s birthday incidentally) so start counting the days! (Only kidding, the results are the last thing anyone wants to think about)

Habeas Corpus
Anyway, boring exam and college stuff is over now. Phew. I was asked what it felt like to be 18 and my reply was “pretty much the same as 17” which is true. Back to work for me this weekend but I’m off again in a few weeks because I’m going on holiday. If they say anything I’ll just surreptitiously point out to them that I’m contracted to work 7 hours a week but usually end up doing many more than that and I’ve covered for various other people more times than I’ve watched wrestling. Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration but you get the picture.

King Edge – Let the Awesomeness Begin!
The WWF presented their annual King of the Ring tournament last Sunday and in my book it was a solid 7 out of 10. I’d still say the best PPV of the year so far was probably No Way Out but King of the Ring didn’t disappoint. The highlight for me was seeing my third favourite wrestler crowned the new King of the Ring – Edge! (albeit with a little help from Shane McMahon and despite Christian trying to “help” Edge) I always knew he had superstar potential and so begins the “era of awesomeness!” The Kurt Angle – Shane McMahon match was outstanding especially when you consider Angle has only been a professional wrestler for 2 years and McMahon isn’t even trained as a wrestler. Highlights included a belly-to-belly suplex through a glass window and an Olympic Slam off the top rope. Man that musta hurt!

Trains, Planes and Professional Wrestlers
The main event wasn’t as good as I was expecting but maybe I’m so accustomed to seeing every Benoit match being a 5* match that I get disappointed with 3* matches. It was OK and think it was the right decision to let Austin go over but the ending was a bit of an anti-climax. This was in part because when Booker T interfered (a wrestler interfering in another wrestler’s match? No way, next you’ll be telling me wrestling is fake!) he inadvertently threw Austin too hard onto a table and Austin hurt his hand trying to break his fall. That’s why the main event ended so abruptly. No sign of D’lo Brown. I’m assuming he’ll win it next year when I’m charge of the WWF. Come on D’lo, you can do it!

It ain’t over till it’s over
Well, this has to be my biggest blog to date and when I do a word count it comes out at… 1,299. Great. Anyway, I’ll probably post again on Monday with nothing new to report.

Sunday, June 24, 2001

The Cool and the Crazy
Well, I haven’t had birthday cards off all my family yet but at the last count I have received so far… (drum roll please) £270! Yes, I can’t believe it but it’s true, it’s damn true. With that much I don’t even need to touch my savings to get a PlayStation2. Yessiree. I’ve had my first legal drink and it felt exactly the same as all the illegal ones. (Woah, wait a sec, underage drinking? Nah.)

It seems to me you’ve lived your life like a D’lo in the ring
Only 3 exams left. I keep crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. I need ABB to get into York and even though I should really be aiming to get 3 A’s as long as I get the 26 points I need I’ll be more than happy. No, ecstatic in fact. One of my friends is at Manchester Uni and he needed CCD to get in and he only got CDE but they still let him in so there’s always hope! I’ll be giving a full post-exam rundown after my last one on Thursday.

Walking on the Sun
Whilst helping my dad put up a stupid gazebo in the back garden I have managed to get sunburnt all on my arms, face and legs. Nice one. I know it’ll sting like hell tomorrow. Fortunately I don’t have anything important planned like an English exam. D’oh.

Corporate Lobbyists and the tale of an Englishman
Whilst I remember, everyone go visit my good friend and budding entrepreneur’s site Syphid Corporation to which I am soon to become an affiliate/member.

Eat, drink and be merry

Friday, June 22, 2001

>Happy Birthday to Me!
Yes, June 22nd has finally arrived. While gamers around Britain are celebrating the release of the Game Boy Advance, little ol’ me is celebrating my 18th (yes, 18th) birthday. I didn’t get much in the way of presents but I did get loads of money and some chocolate (a birthday or Christmas isn’t complete without either Roses/Quality Street/Chocolate Orange or ridiculously sized bars of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk). I can now legally drink and engage in homosexual activities. Hopefully I’ll be doing more of the former than the latter although the doing the first of those 2 things could ultimately lead to doing some of the second. As usual any links made between homosexuality and wrestling will be met with a Rock Bottom.

And that’s the bottom line cos’ D’lo Brown said so
I had my first English Language exam on Wednesday and it went okay. I had to 3 essays and one of them was an analysis of a science article on the reality of cloning dinosaurs based on the techniques used in Michael Chrichton’s “Jurassic Park”. I have read that book literally about 15 times (it’s one of my favourites) so the analysis was a piece of cake. I got an absolute peach of a question on gender and conversation so that was alright and finally my child language acquisition question was nothing to get excited about but I think I did OK. The second paper on Monday is only analysis and recasting and that’s “dead easy” – private joke, don’t ask. After that only Politics to go and I’m free!

Your ass is dead meat; Here’s your receipt; Victory is sweet
Back to my number 1 topic (wrestling) and Sunday brings us to June’s annual Pay Per View, King of the Ring. For a change this year there’s only going to be the semi-finals and final on the PPV itself and although my third favourite wrestler, Edge, is in the semi’s, I’m afraid it’s hard to look past Kurt Angle although it wouldn’t surprise me to see Rhyno become the new king. However, as Angle is already engaged in a match with WCW owner Shane McMahon I wouldn’t expect him to win KOTR and beat Shane so look for King Kurt to only win one of his matches. If Kurt weren’t to win KOTR it wouldn’t surprise me to see one of Shane-O-Mac’s newest recruits make a run-in. If this happens it’ll most likely be one of Rob Van Dam, Booker T (if he’s signed by then) or Buff Bagwell. Personally I’m really looking forward to Undertaker and DDP slugging it out although I’m not sure if there’s a scheduled match at KOTR for them. In the main event look for Austin to retain the title as I’m sure the WWF wants to get Austin over as a strong heel and wait for The Rock to come back (probably around Summerslam at the moment) before he drops the strap.

The Lo Down
As usual I’m looking for D’lo Brown to make a surprise appearance but since he hasn’t been on WWF TV for about 4 months, hasn’t even done any house shows or dark matches and was sent down to Puerto Rico for conditioning I highly doubt we’ll see him soon. However, I did read one newsboard report that had an interview with Vince McMahon and he reportedly said several wrestlers were almost ready to be brought back and top of that list was none other than D’lo Brown. No, I’m not joking this is true and if so I recommend they stick him in the new WCW when it’s relaunched and give him a nice singles push with either the TV Title or the US Title. And that’s coming from me, his no. 1 fan – even I don’t think he’s ready to main-event (yet!)

What else should I be? All apologies
I’d like to congratulate Mike for posting so many blogs (and lengthy ones at that) in such a period. I’ve definitely improved a lot recently but I still need to be more consistent. Keep reading and I’ll keep talking crap.

Quote of the Week:
Bizarrely enough I read this quote on a Resident Evil FAQ (I’ve no idea why it was on there) but I liked it so I thought I’d let the whole blogging community see it:

You can’t spell analyse without saying anal

I’d love to get it in my English analysis on Monday but I’d probably be expelled or something. I can only dream.

Monday, June 18, 2001

Hey! What’s wrong with you?
After the publication of my last blog I got a request from a very special friend of mine to add something to my list of Top 10 Things To Do Over Summer so here’s number 11. in my top 10:

11. Meet up with the gorgeous, lovely, sweet Cheryl when she comes to visit me and show her a real good time (how was that?)

You’re Looking Kinda Down To Me
Exams. Exams. Exams. I’m sick of that word and all the connotations associated with it. However they’re pretty much compulsory and I’ve only got 4 left over the space of 8 days. Next up is my first English Language paper on Wednesday. Before today I was really worried about it but after speaking to a few friends I feel much more confident. I guess it’s just a test of my writing skills so based on the posts from this blog I’ve got nothing to worry about! [Alex faints]

Happy Birthday, Mr. President
Yes, I’m going to reach the grand old age of 18 on Friday. Not exactly ideal timing in the middle of the exams but that’s just life. I haven’t really asked for anything off my parents so I’m assuming they’ll just give me money (the best present a guy can have besides Sarah Michelle Gellar or D’lo Brown). And instead of saving that money wisely for University I’ll instead be blowing it all on a well-deserved PlayStation 2. Roll on summer. While I should be getting extremely drunk and disorderly for my birthday I will in fact be staying at home to study for those dreaded exams that weekend. I guess you could say I’m just postponing my celebrations somewhat. It seems such a waste considering I’ve got the weekend off work… but hey I am going to Ibiza in 3 weeks [pssst, with your parents idiot]. D’OH!

In and Out – Preferably Out
Channel 4 showed the 1997 film “In and Out” last night starring Kevin Kline and Matt Dillon. It’s a comedy about a gay schoolteacher who only realises his sexual orientation on his wedding day. The film as a whole was okay, funny in parts but a bit predictable, however I personally felt it was very derogatory towards gay people.

Queer as Folk?
Now I’m not gay so I can’t really comment with any authority (anyone making a link between liking wrestling and being gay will promptly be put in the Walls of Jericho), but I would imagine that if I was gay (remember, no jokes now!) then I would be offended by this film. When Kline finally came out everyone started acting differently around him and making fun of him etc. For small-minded people this is probably typical but the film made out that this was normal and being gay is a bad thing and abnormal. The ending redressed this slightly but I couldn’t walk away feeling that homosexuals everywhere could have found this film deeply insulting.

So there’s my social comment for the day. Live long and prosper.

Thursday, June 14, 2001

Finally The Rock, has come back…
Yes, I’m back and better than ever (scrap that last bit). I am now a fully fledged member of Freeserve HomeTime and I can waste even more of my time surfing the Internet. Now I can do it free during off-peak hours and all for the measly price of £8.99 a month. What has happened while I’ve been gone? Let’s take a walk down Know Your Role Boulevard and find out…

Psychoanalyse My Ass
Please don’t take that title literally. Anyway, as part of my “education” I have taken my 2 A-Level Psychology exams. I think Psychology is the subject I am most likely to do best in but after doing the exams… well I’m not sure anymore. The first paper was, to put it mildly, a complete bastard and I got 2 questions that I really REALLY didn’t want. The second paper however went much better and I got a couple of questions that were absolute gems. Since then I’ve been concentrating on Politics and I’ve got my last 4 remaining exams in the next couple of weeks. Can’t wait.

Yes Prime Minister
Tony Blair is still Prime Minister and Labour still have a huge majority on the Commons. After last Thursday’s General Election Britain’s political landscape hasn’t actually changed that much except the Conservatives are in an even worse state than they were before (is that possible?) The number of seats that each party won was surprisingly very similar to the 1997 results and my party the Liberal Democrats managed to gain 6 seats (a veritable triumph), Labour lost 6 seats overall and the Conservatives gained a paltry 1 seat. Will Labour improve public services? Will we join the Euro? Will there be a referendum on electoral reform? Will we ever hear from D’lo Brown again? Only time will tell. It seems that the British public is willing to give Blair, Campbell, Mandelson and Brown another chance to prove that there is some substance behind all that spin and lets face it, would things really be any better under the Conservatives? I don’t think so.

Ohhhh, we’re going to Ibiza
Whilst some of my friends are preparing for a 2 week trip to Malaga with each other (I shudder to think what they’ll be getting upto) I on the other hand am off to Ibiza. Before you can all say “18-30, holiday reps, sex, drugs and rock & roll” I’m:

1. Going with my parents
2. NOT going to San Antonio (the “clubbing” part of the island) and
3. Going with my parents


Therefore I will be spending my time tucking into some decent books, applying too much sun block and failing miserably to speak the local lingo. Bring it on!

Top 10 for the Summer
After reading in the exceptional blog of Mr. Mike D (solid_ichelma to those in the know) of top 10 things to do in Southport I’ve decided to come up with my own top 10 for the coming summer. Behold!

1. Buy a PlayStation2 and lots of quality games
2. Compile a guide to all of the chip shops in Southport (I wonder if I’ll get free chips?)
3. Stalk D’lo Brown
4. Get a proper job where I can get paid for doing bugger all
5. Stalk Andy Cole
6. Work out, get a tan and become the next WWF champion
7. Fret horribly over my A-Level exam results
8. Marry Sarah-Michelle Gellar (she will be mine, oh yes, she will be mine)
9. Get my A-Level results and party like never before
10. Update this blog on a regular basis


At the moment I think only 3 and 8 are the only realistic options (ref. – sarcasm). Wish me luck!

Tuesday, June 05, 2001

Boo Hoo
Bad news I’m afraid. My blog will (temporarily?) not be updated on a regular basis because my free ISP ic24 has stopped its 0800 service and I am thus unable to go on the Internet anywhere near as much as I have been doing the last 12 months or so. Negotiations are currently underway with my parents to sign up to a service where you pay a monthly flat rate such as BT Home Time or whatever. Fingers crossed.